How to Un-budget

We've talked saving. Now let's talk spending. Cutting unnecessary expenses doesn't need to be painful, but it will require some soul-searching.

Photo illustration by Will Lanzoni/CNN

Story time! When I was in my mid-20s, my favorite Sports Authority shut down. It was selling off literally everything, down to the shelves and the miniature model tents they would display in the camping section. Obviously, I needed one of those. They were so popular, I had to join a waitlist, provide all kinds of personal information and agree to pay $50 for one if I were chosen.

It was a surprisingly complex purchase, but, long story short, I soon became the proud owner of a tiny tent with no discernible purpose other than to house my taxidermied chipmunk. Do I regret it? No. Is having adult money dangerous? Absolutely.

However, there are definitely ways to shave off expenses while still keeping some tiny tent money around. Let's not call it a budget. Let's call it conscious spending.

If anyone knows how to handle money, it's Tori Dunlap, TikTok finance wiz and founder of Her First $100K. Dunlap suggests taking about a month of financial data and tallying up your income and spending in a spreadsheet or notebook. Yes, it may hurt. But it's worth it. 

"In terms of building your confidence, one of the easiest things you can do is just get really honest with yourself and your money," Dunlap said. "It's gonna be scary. It's gonna be uncomfortable, but just like anything, you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable."

Once you have that data, separate your cash flow into categories so you can get an accurate picture. Note which income comes from paychecks, hustle money or allowances from your rich benefactor. For expenses, it depends on your situation, but categories like "bills," "food" and "personal care" are a good start. 

It may also help to organize your expenses in some semblance of priority. Por ejemplo: 

• Need to survive (rent, bills, debt payments)

• Need to survive, but could be optimized (food, fuel)

• Don't need to survive, but it feels like it (gym membership, subscriptions, personal maintenance)

Beware of luxuries dressed up as necessities! Your daily oat milk latte might fall into this bucket — but experts say recognizing that doesn't necessarily mean you have to give it up.

Once you have it all in the open, though, it's time to ask some questions. This is how you get to the "conscious" part of conscious spending. Dr. Bradley Klontz, a financial psychologist and associate professor of practice at Creighton University's Heider College of Business in Omaha, Nebraska, recommended responding to prompts like the following as specifically as possible. (And yes, it really helps if you actually write out your answers!) 

• Where has my money been going? 
• What do I love spending money on and why? 
• How much do I need for fixed expenses, such as bills and rent? 
• How much do I want to invest and save, and why? 

Once you find clarity around what truly matters to you, Klontz said, that's when managing your finances can get (kind of) fun.

Looking at all of the data, you'll likely see funds going to things you don't want or care about as well. Cut them out, and boom: free money back in your pocket. Start by making sure you're not wasting what you've got on the most common money traps, including these:

• Subscriptions you don't use 
• Food waste 
• Extended warranties
• Credit card interest

You may find your grocery bill gets unnecessarily hefty, or that the stuff you pick up from big sales isn't worth the "savings." (Go ahead and remove yourself from email marketing lists, too, to banish those unnecessary "but it's on sale" moments.) Don't think of it as cutting! Think of it as optimizing.

Austin Steele/CNN

I need to hire someone to do my taxes.

Sometimes fiction, sometimes fact. Tax time is essentially a very high-stakes guessing game, and if you haven't planned for it, owing the government could be the most painful unexpected expense of all. Automatic online tax software is fine if you have a fairly straightforward financial situation, and some providers have versions that shouldn't cost you to use. But there are several scenarios, including the ones below, in which you may need a tax pro:

• You're self-employed
• You've collected unemployment 
• You have side jobs or multiple income streams 
• You've invested in crypto

Yes, hiring someone costs money and is a pain. But this option will cost way less than filing wrong. In fact, the IRS has 10 tips for choosing a tax preparer, so you know you're getting someone legit. Thanks, IRS! Please do not audit us! 

If making money is your ~lifestyle~ try the podcast "Being Boss" with host Emily Thompson, which has lots of helpful finance and productivity tips geared toward entrepreneurs.

Make a date with yourself this week to do the budgeting exercise above. Mark off the time in your calendar. Go somewhere chill. Buy a little drink to make your financial discomfort aesthetic. 

Extra credit: Cancel one subscription or service you don't use anymore. Or, choose "unsubscribe" on the next text or email promotion you get.

Questions? Feedback? Songs of praise? Message the Life, But Better team at adulting@cnn.com. Most of us are adults, after all.