Spare a thought for Victoria Beckham

Spare a thought for Victoria Beckham

The Beckham family feud is every parent's worst nightmare. Is there anything worse than being branded an "embarrassing mother"? And being accused of dancing "very inappropriately" with your son? 

Yet that's exactly what Victoria Beckham is facing right now – after her eldest child, Brooklyn Peltz Beckham, 26, laid into his mum in a heart-stopping public post on Instagram, earlier this week. He accused her of pulling out of making his wife Nicola Peltz's wedding dress "in the eleventh hou" and claimed both of his parents have tried "endlessly to ruin my relationship since before my wedding, and it hasn't stopped".

And then, in a final, killer blow, he said his mother had "hijacked" the first dance at their wedding in 2022, writing: "In front of our 500 wedding guests, Marc Anthony called me to the stage where in the schedule was planned to be my romantic dance with my wife but instead my mum was waiting to dance with me. She danced very inappropriately on me in front of everybody. I've never felt more uncomfortable or humiliated in my entire life."

"Posh and Becks" are used to being talked about (though they are yet to respond to the allegations), but this is different. Brooklyn has dragged the classic mother–son (and mother-in-law/daughter-in-law) relationship into the spotlight – and poured kerosene onto it. Then, he lit a match and walked away.

What's left behind are the dying embers of familial bonds and loyalty – and it certainly reminds me of the way Prince Harry blew up over the royal family, accusing them of "cruelty" towards his wife, Meghan Markle, and severing all ties when they moved to California (though he did say he wanted "reconciliation" with his dad, King Charles, last year).

So, was Brooklyn right to call out his parents for what he sees as wrongdoing – and to talk openly about how he feels after family estrangement? Or is the old adage of blood being "thicker than water" the right one? I'd love to know what you think. Click here to read more about this compelling – and very sad – story.

Get in touch

I'd really like to start profiling more of your views, thoughts and reactions to the news cycle in this newsletter. You can write to me about anything you're passionate about – and I'll also be featuring some guest posts from writers who want to have their say on a topic. Got a pitch? Send it straight to me at victoria.richards@independent.co.uk.

Or, if you want advice on love, work, family and relationships, email me at dearvix@independent.co.uk.

VIX'S PICKS

Hate your job? Why you shouldn't 'rage quit' this January

"Blue Monday" might be a transparent attempt by travel companies to get us all to book breaks in the sun (it was, quite literally, dreamt up by the now-defunct holiday agency Sky Travel in 2005 as a way to sell more holidays), but it's certainly true that January can feel long, dark and drizzly. Still, however downbeat it feels, do not, under any circumstances, "rage quit" at work without being absolutely sure it's the right thing to do, warns Helen Coffey. Click here to read more.

It's very bad for brand and identity," cautions Julian Lighton, one of Silicon Valley's leading business coaches. "You've got a serious problem if you do it more than once, because most industries are relatively small, and you get a reputation that is very difficult to get rid of." Rage quitting can have the effect of 'disabling' yourself, he adds – it embeds an idea within you that you don't have enough resilience to handle trials and weather storms. It builds an interior narrative that, when the going gets tough, you get going.

Why those calling for a teen social media ban need to check their privilege

There's been a lot of chat on my school WhatsApp groups about calls to ban social media in Britain for the under-16s – and even more chat at home with my teenage daughter about it. What I've discovered is just how frustrated kids feel when adults make top-down decisions about their lives without actually checking in with them. She also tells me that us grown-ups sometimes get it totally wrong – and don't actually understand the way teens use the platforms we're all panicking about (like Snapchat). Which is why I was so keen to read this piece by Chloe Combi on the topic…

Good-looking, able-bodied, rich, straight kids with confidence tended to thrive in the popularity stakes. Kids who were a bit different, weird, alternative, gay, poor, disabled, gender-fluid (or those who didn't fit into neat social boxes) tended to have a much harder time. Over the last 20 years, the sprawling and multifaceted nature of the internet – and social media, particularly – has given many teens who exist outside rigid and often cruel social lines not just a lifeline, but entire parasocial structures that welcomed them with open arms and helped them make connections in their real lives.

The women defying violence – and Trump's cuts – to protect their families

Getting married in the summer of 2025 made life at home in Syria for Noor, 21, even worse. Just 20 days later, she divorced her husband. "He was an alcoholic and he beat me," she tells Jessie Williams. "From the second day he started to break everything. He broke the dishes, he opened the cupboards, he threw everything on the ground."

Her father disagreed with her decision to end the marriage. "My dad held a knife in front of me and he told me, 'if you do not get back to your husband I will kill you.'"

The one thing that did help Noor? A women's centre in Madaya – until it closed down. And the reason they can't open another one? Trump's aid cuts.

Click here to read more. 

Trump is now using the language of an abusive husband

I read the leaked letter sent by the US president to the prime minister of Norway about his desire to own Greenland this week – and was struck by one thing: he's using the kind of threats anyone who's been in a toxic relationship will recognise. In fact, it reads like it's been written by an abusive husband, boyfriend or partner.

There's gaslighting: "Considering your Country decided not to give me the Nobel Peace Prize for having stopped 8 Wars PLUS"; there's twisting of the truth: "There are no written documents, it's only that a boat landed there hundreds of years ago, but we had boats landing there, also"; and there's even a naked threat: "I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of Peace".

And if you read between the lines of Trump's letter, conditional phrases like: "I have done more for NATO than any other person since its founding, and now, NATO should do something for the United States" can be quickly re-translated as: "You made me do this...", "You owe me", and "if you loved me, you would". In fact, it wouldn't look out of place in a "how to spot if you're in a coercive relationship" checklist.

Coercive control, after all, is defined as psychological abuse and controlling behaviour in a relationship, with abusive partners isolating their victims and controlling their finances. Sound familiar?

Click here to read more of my thoughts on the matter.

My daughter started university this autumn and is having real problems with a "frenemy" (let's call her "Amy"). Amy befriended her and they became "best friends", very fast. I thought there were some red flags, as this girl seemed to be dominant and a bit controlling. She then started being very mean to my daughter and was very negative towards her, even in front of other people.

Fast forward a few months and Amy has now found another "best" friend who she looks up to and has "demoted" my daughter (a good thing, in a way). Except: that they're still all part of the same social group (they've even signed a contract for a house-share together, next year) and Amy's meanness has escalated.

As a result, my daughter has become closer to two other girls in the same halls, who have started to defend her when Amy is mean to her. Amy and her new BFF have cottoned on to this and are now saying they don't like the other two girls – and that my daughter has to pick sides. It's put her in an impossible situation.

Family feuds

Last week, I asked you for your views on the new "autistic" Barbie doll – and whether you felt it was good for disability representation.

Here's what you said:

I was a firm fan of the new inclusive doll (click here to see why). But I'd love to hear why, if you weren't...

In our latest poll, please do tell me your thoughts on the Beckham family feud. Click here to vote: Was Brooklyn right to call out his family in public?

I received some insightful comments from you this week on all things Barbie, such as this message from Sally:

I was diagnosed with ASD1 (what used to be known as Asperger's syndrome) in 2023, at the age of 65. I adored Barbie as a child – I guess she was one of my "special interests". I had all the Barbie "family", plus outfits, plus the house, etc, etc, etc!

At the age of 68, I have actually ordered one of these dolls – not to play with (obviously), but as a collector's item, which I feel really affirms my identity. She even has pink ear defenders like mine…

And this comment from Yully about her grand-daughter's reaction to the latest doll really pulled at my heart-strings:

My granddaughter will love this. She's waiting for an autism assessment and uses ear defenders and a fidget spinner. She already refuses to wear her glasses when she dresses up as princesses, because "princesses don't wear glasses", so anything she can associate with is a massive plus.

THIS WEEK...

I'm recovering

From my first trip skiing in sixteen years! That's right – I returned (with all limbs and bones intact, somehow) from the French slopes of Morillon on Sunday night and had an absolute ball. I was pretty wobbly, but the fresh mountain air, gorgeous pine trees and life-affirming company (I travelled with two school friends I've known and loved for more than 30 years) made me realise how important it is, even as adults, to get away for a break with your girlfriends. It doesn't have to be anything as bougie as a ski trip – just a sleepover on a Saturday night would do. I'm booking it in as an annual event…

I'm joining

The UN Commission on the Status of Women (CSW) in New York! Remotely, that is… and you can too. Here's how:

If you care about gender equality, this is where it happens.

March starts with International Women's Day – but the work doesn't stop there. Every year, the UN Commission on the Status of Women (CSW) brings together people from across the world who are working to advance women's rights. From governments and activists to researchers and campaigners, it's where priorities are discussed and decisions that shape gender equality begin.

UN Women UK – who I had a great call with this week – is now inviting people in the UK to apply to take part digitally, with access to live UN sessions, expert discussions and global conversations around this year's theme: access to justice for all women and girls. It's a chance to turn momentum into action and be part of the space where change is shaped.

 Applications close on 8 February.

Join the conversation and follow me

Please do not reply directly to this email

You are currently registered to receive Independent Women from The Independent.

To unsubscribe from Independent Women from The Independent., or to manage your email preferences please click here.

This e-mail was sent by Independent Digital News and Media Ltd, 14-18 Finsbury Square, London EC2A 1AH. Registered in England and Wales with company number 07320345

Read our privacy policy and cookie policy