Exclusive: Actor Anne Hathaway speaks out on Virginia Giuffre |
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| I was recently made a digital delegate for the 70th session of the Commission on the Status of Women at United Nations Headquarters in New York – and this week I attended the opening ceremony and heard from (among others) the UN Secretary General António Guterres, actor and activist Anne Hathaway and Nobel Prize laureate Malala Yousafzai. What touched and moved me most was their frankness – their bravery in calling out the names of the women who have fought against discrimination; their condemnation of brutal regimes like the Taliban who are so callously restricting women's lives in Afghanistan – and the global loss of women's bodily autonomy and rights in the US and elsewhere. It felt powerful and affirming to hear from these incredible figureheads directly – not least with reference to explosive cases like the Pelicot rape trial in Mazan and the links between the victims of the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein (and his highly-publicised links to Prince Andrew), but also in fierce condemnation of Trump, the ongoing illegal war in Iran and the loss of so many children in Gaza. In fact, Malala referred to the state of play as a "gender apartheid". Strong, stirring – and sadly, true. Below are some exclusive highlights of what they said. Anne Hathaway: "This is a strange, thorny moment in the world. Are we not all tormented that societal progress for women has in large part been in response to extreme gender violence? Are we not tormented by what women like Gisèle Pelicot, Virginia Giuffre and Malala Yousafazi – to name three amongst half the world – have had to endure? These women and girls had the bravery to demand justice when horrific violence was forced on them, and in doing so – by honouring their own right to dignity – changed the world. Are we not tormented by this cost of change? Amid all this pain; all this proof of inequality; all this proof of a stubborn imbalance of justice – do we really dare celebrate? Well, it's just my opinion, but: yes. Yes, we absolutely do. It is absolutely our honour to celebrate the courage and power of the women who would not be denied their justice; because they chose action in a world that expects silence. We celebrate their defiance and we, in turn, are defiant in celebration. We come together today under complicated skies, and yet we celebrate." Malala Yousafzai: "Today, I stand here heartbroken. Never have I seen so many children suffering from war and violence, injured and dying at the hands of unaccountable leaders. I am devastated for families in Iran, whose daughters left for school and did not return home. For parents in Gaza, who buried their children beneath the rubble of their classrooms. For Afghan girls, living under the brutal Taliban regime for nearly five years. True justice does not defend the humanity of children in one place and ignore it in another. It is not selectively applied. It does not claim that our rights are dependent on where we were born. Under international law, killing children in their classrooms is a war crime. When civilians are deprived of food, water, medicine and shelter, the law obligates states to act. Looking around the world today, we must ask ourselves why justice is a privilege extended to some and withheld from others. Globally, we are witnessing a backlash against women and girls." Please do get in touch with me below with any thoughts and reactions to these moments and to tell me how you celebrated International Women's Day. We are in this fight together – our future depends on it. But how are we best equipped to fight that fight? I'd love your suggestions. |
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| You can write to me about anything you like. I'll feature some of the emails sent in, alongside guest pieces from writers who want to have their say. Send it straight to me at victoria.richards@independent.co.uk. Or, if you want advice on love, work, family and relationships, email me at dearvix@independent.co.uk. | |
| Louis Theroux: Inside the Manosphere review – An infuriating failure of a documentary | Oh, I'm achingly disappointed. As a long-time Louis Theroux fan (who isn't) I had such high hopes of him skewering one of the most dangerous and insidious threats women face today: the manosphere. Sadly, according to my colleague Adam White, who gave the new Netflix documentary just two stars, Louis didn't just fail to hit his target – he unwittingly glorified them. How did this happen? Well, it's because "nobody cares". Click here to read more. | |
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| Theroux seems unprepared to enter this kind of moral cesspool, in which every party – man or woman, rich or poor, pimp or porn star – positions personal financial gain above all else. His interaction with a so-called 'sexy plasterer' named Ellie Nutts, an OnlyFans model, goes nowhere. "I don't care about other people's opinions about what I'm doing for myself," she tells him. "I'm comfortable in my decisions." Troupes of women gleefully submit themselves to debasement, presumably because it's a means to promote their OnlyFans pages or social media accounts. The virulent sexism, antisemitism and pseudo-science we witness is appalling, but also meaningless in a world that prioritises pure attention over anything. Everyone is here, everyone is paying, and no one cares. |
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| The conversation you should never have on the first date – or should you? |
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| Would you talk about your fantasies on a first date? How about your favourite positions? Well, French speed-daters are doing exactly this: skipping the small talk to get straight to sex in a new 'deep dating' movement to find love, apparently – ooh la la! Launched last year in Paris by Léa Toussaint, a sex therapist, the idea is that encouraging people to speak about their sexual preferences early on can help foster a culture of openness and honesty. Participants pay €25 and have a series of seven-minute-long conversations with other attendees, using suggested questions provided by Toissaint, such as "Do you prefer having sex in bed or outdoors?" and "Would you like to initiate sex more or less often?" I can't think of anything worse or more excruciating, frankly, but maybe I'm just a prude. How about you? Click here to read more... | |
| The perfect revenge for jilted girlfriends everywhere | The singer Raye this week unveiled a blue plaque that she had installed outside her ex-boyfriend's favourite pub, The Nightingale in South London. It read: "RAYE experienced the greatest heartbreak she has ever known here, 27 February 2019", proving that hell hath no fury like a woman with access to English Heritage. I wrote about my own imagined blue plaques, here... | |
| Meet the woman with 'financial anorexia' | From saving money obsessively and underspending on things that brought her joy, to denying herself financial pleasures (regardless of how much she had in her bank account), Annie Robinson, 39, identifies as a 'financial anorexic'. The new term is being used to describe those who are self-denying in their attitude to money, who have an unhealthy obsession with saving and who reduce their spending to the point where it negatively impacts their wellbeing – and there are more and more people who identify with the condition. Click here to read more. | |
| I used to compare prices obsessively," says Robinson, reflecting on her past. "Money was just for survival and rent. If friends asked me to go to a live music show, I'd say no because I feared I'd need money in the future and wouldn't have enough. If I was out at dinner in a restaurant that felt expensive, I wouldn't order a main – I'd just get a starter. No massages or new clothes, but just paying my bills. When I was in that headspace, self-care meant surviving the day. |
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| | I've battled my demons for 30 years. I'm losing hope | |
| I've battled my demons for 30 years. I'm losing hope |
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| I'm writing this because if I don't get it out of my head, I think it'll finally break me. I've been running this race for 30 years now. Three decades of waking up after a night of drinking and drugs with the same heavy pit in my stomach, wondering how I let another day slip through my fingers. I used to think I was just a guy who liked a good time. Then, I thought booze helped me define myself. Later, I was a guy with a problem. Now, I feel like the problem is just who I am. I've seen the inside of more basement AA meetings and expensive, spa-like rehab clinics than I care to count. I've made promises to my mother, my kids and my reflection until the words lost all their meaning. The hardest part isn't the physical craving anymore – it's the exhaustion. I'm losing hope, now. Every time I get a week or a month of clarity, the same old shadow just waits around the corner, patient and familiar. It's a lonely kind of tired. You stop asking for help because you're embarrassed to be the same broken record, and you start to believe the lie that this is just your finish line. I don't have a neat ending for this. I'm just a man who's tired of fighting a ghost that has my own face. |
| | | From: A man who's still trying to find his way home | |
| | From: A man who's still trying to find his way home |
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| Let's talk about sex (baby) | Last week, I asked you whether you homeschool your kids, given that we're seeing a rise in so-called 'influencers' like Molly-Mae and Tommy Fury talking about doing it (which I wrote about, here). Here's what you said: | |
| In our latest poll, I've been inspired by the idea of the 'seven-minute sex speed date' above (where people share their most intimate thoughts with a stranger). Click here to vote and tell me: Do you feel comfortable talking about sex? And if you can leave a comment to tell me a bit more about why (or why not), that would be great. I'm intrigued to find out whether a reticence about being open about sex is cultural or personal – or whether those of us who struggle with it simply haven't ever been given the tools to do it. Do write in and tell me how you feel – anything you say will be kept strictly confidential. Meanwhile, reader Antonella Gambotto-Burke wrote in to tell me about her very positive homeschooling experience: |
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| I am not a qualified teacher, and yet my home-educated daughter – I was a single, broke, homeschooling mother with 100 per cent care – is now in her second year of an MBiol at Oxford University (she was awarded a First for her first year), preparing for her PhD, and has just been awarded a coveted 40K summer school scholarship at an Ivy League university. This is in addition to a laundry list of other achievements, including speaking at the Houses of Parliament. Homeschooling is the future. The education system is broken. |
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| And Phil Donnelly had this to say about the state of British education: |
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| Maybe we should start insisting that primacy teachers have higher Maths and O-level arithmetic, then? | |
| I watched the greatest TV show I've seen in ages... | Small Prophets, written by The Office's Mackenzie Crook. If you haven't seen it yet, please trust me and grab it from BBC iPlayer as soon as possible. It's a tender, sweet, life-affirming, gentle and wholesome TV show that oozes pathos (it's also quintessentially British – much of it is set in the aisles of a local branch of B&Q) and veers magnificently from the everyday into something magical and ethereal. I loved it and can't stop talking about it. It has enriched my TV viewing tenfold, and I found it perfectly attuned to the way I like to think about the world being full of 'small joys'. Please write in and let me know what you think – or give me your own recommendations! | | | Join the conversation and follow me | |
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