'Bloody feminists need shooting' – and other unsavoury comments about this newsletter |
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Happy Thursday to you all! Well, to most of you. Regular readers of this newsletter know how much I love and value your input, but I'll be honest: the thoughts of certain men who lurk below the line, waiting to leave ugly – even violent – comments? Those, I could definitely do without. I usually ignore the comments – it's a maxim for a reason for women in journalism. I even have a T-shirt which says 'Never read the comments' on the front. I learned my lesson long ago... about a decade ago, in fact, when I wrote a column about feminism and then received the sum total of 96 comments BTL (below the line), which descended into a group of men discussing whether I was – ahem – attractive enough to take to bed. One has stuck with me ever since: "Are you joking? You'd have to wear beer goggles to shag that." We know that trolls lurk anonymously in newspaper comment sections and on social media – and we know that most of what they say online, behind the impotent safety of their keyboards, they wouldn't dare say to our faces. We also know never to "feed a troll" by responding or giving them the attention they so clearly crave. But it still weighs heavy – and this week, for some unthinkable reason, I dared to check out the comments BTL on a piece by my colleague Lauren, signposting this very newsletter. What I saw shocked me – even though I'm a "hardened" journalist who's been in this game for more than 20 years. Here were the top three: "More sexist rubbish." "Totally sexist. Perhaps we should have a column for men. Bloody feminists need shooting." "Sounds like it won't have much content beyond fashion tips." Now, when was the last time I gave anyone fashion tips...? (Confession: I did write this piece about how I only wore black for the whole month of October – and dissected how it made me feel.) Maybe that's a good idea for the future – thanks, 'John'! Anyway, I'm not writing this (just) out of sour grapes, but because it did affect me – and I think it's evidence of just how threatened some men are by any work by women, full stop. They don't want us to gather together, to talk to each other, to share stories and reveal the dark layer lurking beneath the surface of the world of men. That's why they reduce us to nothing but women "chattering" in nursery rhymes; it's why the word "gossip" is only ever used as a weapon to undermine groups of women – never men. Men "talk" and "command" and "discuss", women "chat" and "gossip" and "nag" and "snipe". The wording might be subtle, but you can bet your life it's intentional – and intentionally undermining. And the message is always the same: "Don't listen. There's nothing here worth paying attention to." I regret reading these hateful comments, but I'm glad the presence of this newsletter is putting some men's noses out of joint. What we've got here is a place to come together and to fight – to disrupt the status quo. They can't stop us. Now, what have you got to say about that...? You can write to me at victoria.richards@independent.co.uk – or to my alter-ego, 'Dear Vix', at dearvix@independent.co.uk. Use your voices – I'd love to amplify them and raise them up. To any men reading this, do write in. Whatever you've got to say BTL, you should be brave enough and "man enough" to say to our faces. And for the men who are allies and loyal readers, who do what they can to stand up for women: thank you. |
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The trouble with 'Rule, Britannia!' |
I had a pretty horrible encounter on Saturday evening, on my way out to meet friends to see a showing of Countess Dracula at the Camden People's Theatre (as an aside, it's an excellent 60-minute piece of comic drama by Joanna Holden and Jack Kelly that takes in themes of ageing and the menopause – do catch them if you can). As I crossed the platform at Liverpool Street station on my way to take the Tube to King's Cross, a mob of teenage boys came down the stairs, loudly and aggressively chanting the words to Rule, Britannia! They were only around 14 or 15, at a push – almost the same age as my daughter. Gen Alpha, if you can believe that. Small, white, male, shaved-headed... and wearing mean, surly expressions to match the red St George's crosses painted on the sides of their faces; flags that – thanks to the likes of Tommy Robinson and his far-right followers – have come to signify fear, violence and racism. In Britain today, where you find a flag, small-mindedness and prejudice inevitably follow. I see them flopping from lampposts every time I drive out into Essex – and find their presence disheartening and depressing. Led by a couple of ringleaders at the front, carrying cans of beer (presumably someone older had to buy them for them, because they certainly weren't old enough to drink), these kids – around 20 of them – traipsed through the station, fumbling the words to the unofficial national anthem. When a couple of adults stopped and stared – one asked them under his breath, "What are you doing?" – they shoved them. Then they lurched, unprovoked, into the path of a tourist who looked European and pushed him, too. I stopped to ask if he was OK – he was, but shaken up. All I could think, seeing these boys the same age as my daughter, was: "Is this what London has become?" It feels as if there's something rotten at the heart of our capital city and its surrounds right now – you can see it on our streets as well as in the news. It simply doesn't feel safe. Not only is there a spate of horrific stabbings, but thug mentality is everywhere – from the marches organised by Robinson, claiming to "unite the kingdom" when they want anything but; to the constant political and social rhetoric blaming "migrants" for everything; to the unthinkable, mindless thuggery seen at so-called "protests" outside a hotel housing asylum seekers in Epping, the town of my birth (and you bet I'm ashamed of that). Britain is steadily becoming less tolerant, less inclusive, less welcoming, and more and more racist – not helped by the likes of Nigel Farage and the oafs who make up Reform UK. Who is voting for these people? And why are they so happy to split our communities in two using flags as a fault line – rather than bringing us together? Every time a horrific attack happens, in my eyes the blame lies not only with the attacker, but with those who seek to divide us further. |
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More for Independent Women |
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Last week, I asked you: Should Kamala Harris run for President in 2028? Here's what you said: 68% of you said yes. 32% of you said no. It also prompted some passionate responses from you on email – read on to hear from some followers of this newsletter. In this week's poll, I'd love to find out how you feel about online trolls and the comment sections. Click here to tell me: Should you ever reply to trolls? Your views... I received this thoughtful email from David, who wrote to me from Ota-ku, Japan, in response to my telling you all about my surprise interaction with Kamala Harris: I read your piece on Kamala Harris with great interest. You are to be commended for your work with the young. I am a retired teacher, now living in Japan, after working for 25 years in the Los Angeles public schools. You asked what people might think Kamala Harris' chances are as a presidential candidate. Honestly, I agree with you that she has many outstanding traits, but I don't think she has what is needed to win a national campaign. She may not have had the expert guidance she needed for this gruelling task; I don't know what caused her to fall short. What I do know is that US journalists say that she made the same mistakes in 2024 that stood out in 2020. For one thing, she made a single speech on any given day, while Trump was known to make four or five. She wildly out-spent him, but got very poor results. One stand-out example was her decision to spend thousands (some say close to $2m) on an event which included having Oprah join her on stage before an audience of 3,000 – it was also livestreamed and got over 1.2 million views in under 12 hours – while Trump spent nothing to speak for 3 hrs on the radio before 20 million listeners. Her campaign, in short, was mismanaged. I think she might flourish in a post to which she is appointed, such as Attorney General. It is fantastic that Kamala made herself available to you and your students. What a brilliant opportunity. Meanwhile, Bob had a different take: Be careful of what you wish for. Four years of Kamala in the White House would be ten times worse than the four years Biden was there. Our free country could not survive that. Are you and your daughters ready to live a life of poverty with no hope of getting above the minimum poverty line? And Greg wrote: I just happened across your opinion piece on Kamala Harris and after reading until the end could only summarise the piece with one word: 'DELUSIONAL'. You may not have read her memoir casting blame on everyone else except herself? Please, I beg you, please find better role models for your girls. There are so very many.... Chatie also wrote to me to say: You quote Kamala Harris saying, "Use your voice, always. Never let anybody silence you... It's good to have feelings. This is your future. Give it 30 years – this is where being 'too political' gets you." This comes immediately after acknowledging that she silenced people protesting a genocide. That juxtaposition is not only ironic – it's deeply dissonant. Elevating someone simply because she is a woman does not make her a feminist, nor does it absolve her of complicity in a violent, patriarchal system. Representation alone is not liberation. Supporting a figure who defends or participates in what the UN has described as systematic sexual and reproductive violence (UN OHCHR report, March 2025) is incompatible with any serious commitment to feminist principles. Meanwhile, Dorothy had further thoughts about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, losing his title: Of course Andrew deserves to lose his title. With me he is just 'Andrew'. Not since the Falklands has he made any contribution to British life but appears to cling on to a rather ill-informed belief that his blood is blue and therefore he deserves anything he fancies. His blood is no different to that of the most ordinary of mortals, as the Romanovs discovered. But Andrew doesn't seem even to have the capacity to learn from that, so full of self-conceit is he. The Royal Family's seeming unwillingness to deal fully with this from the outset is chilling. A clear lesson is needed. Their birth and wealth shouldn't be any kind of shield for wrongdoings. I love hearing from you – please do get in touch and tell me what you liked, didn't like (and what you'd like to see more of) in this newsletter. |
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I'm visiting... Kew Gardens for their annual 'Halloween trail' – well, I went! And I'll definitely be going again next year (in costume). It's a massive schlep to get there from east London, but it's worth it – I loved the festival vibes and the cemetery (though I was less keen on the the enormous spider-puppet, as big as a house. No, thank you). A note for next week... I'm away next week for work – in Botswana, believe it or not! I'm going on a 'female-only safari' and can't wait to tell you all about it when I get back. In my absence, the lovely Lauren will be putting together a shorter version of this newsletter. I'll be back as normal the week after next. I'll miss you all! |
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