In the biggest test of public opinion since the general election, with Scotland and Wales and a third of voters in England going to the polls, Cleo Watson called it. Reflecting on her time in Downing Street working for a succession of embattled prime ministers, the former spad said this has been the “most vicious local elections campaign” she can remember. “In 2019, Theresa May – who had won 317 seats but 42.4 per cent of the popular vote two years before – announced her departure within a fortnight of a damning set of elections. It remains to be seen what Keir Starmer – who won 411 seats but only 33.7 per cent of the popular vote just two years ago – will do. Or be forced to do. The end in politics happens gradually, then suddenly.”
And yet Sean O’Grady still wonders if these are really Starmer’s final days in office. For an “embattled” prime minister, it all feels reassuringly business-as-usual. “What might be his final ‘safe’ week in office is shaping up to be his strangest one yet,” he wrote. “He spent the weekend at the European Political Community summit in Armenia – the first sitting British prime minister to visit since independence”.
Then, in his determination to edge Britain closer to Europe, “centimetre by centimetre”, there was an announcement of a new Brexit reset, whereby “for a yearly fee of around £1bn, we could have increased access to the single market”. One day, such moves towards rejoining the EU might be seen as the “central tenet of his prime-ministerial legacy”. But for now, Starmer is “well aware that there are people sitting around his cabinet table, and at least two outside, who think they can do the job better than he can”.
When it was revealed that Angela Rayner had given up her beloved e-cigs, in a bid to make herself look more prime ministerial, fellow vapeuse Ava Vidal wrote, with some regret, that Britain simply isn't ready for a Vape Dragon in Downing Street. “We are a nation of snobs,” she explained. “Yes, Rayner has questionable dress sense – oh, those bovver boots… – and vaping singles you out as a bit common, an accusation with which Rayner has had to struggle all her political life, one she needs to shift if she’s ever to run the country.”
Just as Ange was ditching the e-cigs, another British institution was under threat – the breakfast pint at the airport. With Ryanair boss Michael O’Leary calling time, passengers, please on the pre-flight sharpener, Imogen West-Knight felt sufficiently emboldened to write: “Yes, I am judging you for your 5am airport pint… Travelling at that time is wretched enough without slipping into a hangover before you’ve even landed.”
Speaking of bumpy rides, Trump’s latest plan to bring peace to the Middle East, after starting a fight with Iran, imploded on impact with reality. Within hours of launching Project Freedom, under which the US Navy would escort merchant ships through the Strait of Hormuz, it was promptly parked and turned into ‘Project Flip-Flop’. “The official White House version is that Project Freedom is being ‘paused’ for ‘a short period of time’ to see if a peace deal with Iran can be reached,” wrote Simon Walters. “‘Great progress’ has been made towards that end, claimed Trump, without a shred of evidence.”
After a week like this, I think we should all treat ourselves to a new £11 pint. Cheers…
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